Solution Leader Ezine March 1, 2004




	March 1, 2004 A free Ezine sent to you monthly by Glen Rediehs, Ph.D.: Personal Coach, Corporate Coach, Organization Development Consultant Web site: www.SolutionLeader.com E-mail: Glen@SolutionLeader.com Solution Leader Ezine will give you solutions for your personal life and the people side of your business. Every issue is filled with practical strategies plus a little humor. If you received this Solution Leader Ezine from someone else and would like your own free subscription, click on www.SolutionLeader.com. Subscribe -- it's free! Try it! TO UNSUBSCRIBE To unsubscribe from this Ezine, just click reply to this email, place Unsubscribe on the subject line and your email address will be removed. Please note that this procedure helps us to determine the e-mail address that you used to subscribe to Solution Leader Ezine. That's the only way we will recognize that it is you. Thank you. IN THIS ISSUE: How Stress-hardy are You? A Little Humor Thought for the Day Great Internal Communication for Your Organization How Stress-hardy are You? Stress is Good For You Stress is good for me? You've gotta be kidding! When you face stressful situations as challenges, they can motivate you and give you energy. As you take on each challenge, you have an opportunity to gain satisfaction from a job well done. Successful coping with life's stressors can increase your personal sense of competence. You may discover deeper levels of personal strength and potential. Stressors can provide optimal levels of arousal necessary for high levels of performance. Life without stress would be routine and boring. Stress Can Kill You On the other hand, stress can - literally - kill you! Stressors are circumstances that you perceive to be a threat to your well-being. They appear in several ways: Stress might emerge in your life when you are frustrated because you can't get or do something you want Internal conflict when you are trying to make decisions can create stress. Most people experience stress when they are faced with change - both for the better or for the worse (the death of a loved one, a new boss, divorce, an injury, moving to another location, marriage, being laid off or fired, starting a new job, pregnancy, etc.). Pressures to perform or conform at work and in your personal life can trigger stress. Plain, old daily hassles are likely to account for much of your stress (grocery bag breaks, car won't start, you lose your cell phone connection in the middle of a conversation, you drop your house keys when it's raining and your hands are full, etc.) When stress invades your life, your body mobilizes with the well-known "fight or flight" response. Your heart rate, breathing rate, muscle tension, etc. all rise. You have undoubtedly experienced this many times. The "fight or flight" response works great for animals faced with predators. It's fight the adversary or run for your life. It's all over very quickly. The prey either escapes or becomes the predator's lunch. Among humans, the "fight or flight" response to stressors is much less helpful. Unlike animals, our frustrations, conflict, changes, pressures and daily hassles frequently don't let up. They go on and on. Our bodies remain mobilized and on alert - until our immune system and health are compromised. Stress frequently triggers emotional distress, muscular tensions, stomach problems, dizziness, migraine headaches, and other symptoms. Research has found links between stress and heart disease, stroke, arthritis, diabetes, leukemia, cancer, and various infectious diseases. What Can You Do About Stress? You don't have much control over the stressful circumstances that present themselves in your life. But, you do have choices. There are three main things you can do to cope with stress: Modify how you perceive the circumstances that create stress for you. Relax your body. Reduce the level of "fight or flight" arousal. Take care of yourself. Modify How You Perceive the Circumstance It's not the circumstance itself but how you perceive a circumstance that makes it stressful or not. Changing how you think about the circumstance will determine how stressful it will be. For example, if someone in another car drives recklessly and endangers your safety, you may think "Nobody has a right to drive like that! Who does he think he is? He won't pull that stuff with me!" All the while your breathing rate, blood pressure, muscle tension, etc. are rising. Instead, think calmer thoughts. Maybe, "There will always be drivers in a bigger hurry than I am. I would do best to drive defensively for my sake and others on the road." Stop blaming, criticizing yourself and others, or loading your thinking with "shoulds," "oughts," and "musts." Turn the situation around by asking yourself questions like these about your situation: "What's the lesson here?" "What do I do when I cope with a circumstance like this the best?" "What is this circumstance telling me about the priorities in my life?" "How else can I think about this situation to handle it better?" "Is there a message here about how I interact with other people?" "What does this circumstance suggest about the balance in my life?" Etc. Relax Your Body Breathe deeply. Sit in a quiet place. Close your eyes and breathe in slowly through your nose, filling your lungs and expanding your diaphragm. Hold it briefly and then exhale slowly. Feel the air moving in, all the way down, and out again. Exercise regularly. Walk, dance, hike, swim, bowl, or any other exercise that will get your body moving. If it's hard to stick with your routine, find an exercise partner. Do different kinds of exercise. Make it fun. Slow down. Simplify your life. Plan your days. Set realistic goals for a day, prioritize them, schedule time for them (plus some extra time for unexpected tasks), break big things into smaller parts, delegate what you can, just take one thing at a time. Schedule time for yourself in every day. Do whatever relaxes you: meditation, listening to music, visualizing yourself at your most content and calm moments, etc. Take Care of Yourself Get adequate sleep. Eat healthful foods. Enjoy stress-free activities. Take time for hobbies, volunteer activities, or similar pursuits. Spend time with friends - especially those who are positive and optimistic. Nurture relationships that you value. Play and laugh. Refresh your mind by spending time in nature, reading inspirational literature, learning new things. Choose a healthy lifestyle. No smoking. No misuse of alcohol or drugs. Limit caffeine. How Stress-Hardy Are You? Every time that you are faced with stressful circumstances, you make a choice that either builds your stress-hardiness or lets stress compromise your happiness and health. With every frustration, conflict, change, pressure or daily hassle that comes your way - pause - choose happiness and health. Change your thinking, relax your body and take care of yourself! ©2004 Glen Rediehs *What's the next step in your life? In your business?* What do you want to achieve? What do you want to change? Coaching will help you reach your goals! Let's work on your future together. You can make it happen! PLEASE CALL ME at 704-788-9184 or Email me at Glen@SolutionLeader.com A Little Humor The Monastery of Silence Sister Mary Katherine entered the Monastery of Silence. The priest said, "Sister, this is a silent monastery. You are welcome here as long as you like, but you may not speak until directed to do so". Sister Mary Katherine lived in the monastery for 5 years before the priest said to her, "Sister Mary Katherine, you have been here for 5 years. You can speak two words." Sister Mary Katherine said, "Hard bed." "I'm sorry to hear that," the priest said, "We will get you a better bed." After another 5 years, Sister Mary Katherine was called by the priest. "You may say another two words, Sister Mary Katherine." "Cold food," said Sister Mary Katherine. The priest assured her that the food would be better in the future. On her 15th anniversary at the monastery, the priest again called Sister Mary Katherine into his office. "You may say two words today." "I quit," said Sister Mary Katherine. "It's probably best", said the Priest, "You've done nothing but complain since you got here." _______________ Deepest Wales A couple were on a driving holiday through deepest Wales, and passed through the town named Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch. They were obviously having trouble trying to say the word and neither really knew the correct Welsh pronunciation. So they decided to stop for lunch in the town and maybe ask a local to say the name properly. As they sat in the restaurant, the husband leaned over to talk to a young blonde girl sitting at the next table. "Excuse me" said the man. "We were wondering if you could tell us the name of where we are. Could you pronounce it really slowly? Would you mind?" The young blonde looked at the man in a slightly bemused way, leaned over towards him and said "Burrrrrr...Gurrrrrr...Kiiiiiinnng" _______________ No meat on Friday When Ole quit farming, he discovered that he was the only Lutheran in his new little town of Catholics. That was okay, but the neighbors had a problem with his barbequing beef every Friday. Since they couldn't eat meat on Friday, the tempting aroma was getting the best of them. Hoping they could do something to stop this, the neighbors got together and went over to talk to Ole. "Ole," they said, "since you are the only Lutheran in this whole town and there's not a Lutheran church for many miles, we think you should join our church and become a Catholic." Ole thought about it for a minute and decided they were probably right. Ole talked to the priest, and they arranged it. The big day came and the priest had Ole kneel. He put his hand on Ole's head and said, "Ole, you were born a Lutheran, you were raised a Lutheran, and now," he said as he sprinkled some incense over Ole's head, "now you are a Catholic!" Ole was happy and the neighbors were happy. But the following Friday evening at suppertime, there was again the aroma of grilled beef coming from Ole's yard. The neighbors went to talk to him about this and as they approached the fence, they heard Ole saying to the steak: "You were born a beef, you were raised a beef", and as he sprinkled salt over the meat he said, "and now you are a fish!" Thought for the Day A Child's Ten Commandments for Parents My hands are small. Please don't expect perfection whenever I make a bed, draw a picture or throw a ball. My legs are short. Please slow down so that I can keep up with you. My eyes have not seen the world as yours have. Please let me explore safely. Don't restrict me unnecessarily. Your work will always be there. I'm only little for such a short time. Please take time to explain things to me about this wonderful world. My feelings are tender. Please be sensitive to my needs. Don't nag me all day long. Treat me as you would like to be treated. I am a special gift from God. Please treasure me, holding me accountable for my actions, giving me guidelines to live by and disciplining me in a loving manner. I need your encouragement and your praise to grow. Please go easy on the criticism. Remember, you can criticize the things I do without criticizing me. Please give me the freedom to make decisions concerning myself. Permit me to fail so that I can learn from my mistakes. Then someday, I'll be prepared to make the kind of decisions life requires of me. Please don't do things over for me. Somehow that makes me feel that my efforts didn't quite measure up to your expectations. I know it's hard, but please don't try to compare me with my brother or my sister. Please don't be afraid to leave for a weekend together. Kids need vacations from parents, just as parents need vacations from kids. Besides, it's a great way to show us kids that your marriage is very special. Please take me to worship regularly, setting a good example for me to follow. By Dr. Kevin Leman in Parenthood Without Hassles,Well Almost and First-Time Mom. Great Internal Communication for Your Organization How many times have you heard, "The memo said one thing. But, he said something else in the meeting. What are we supposed to believe?" Or, "There's no sense telling the boss. She won't listen to us anyway." Or, perhaps, "Nobody told me that was my responsibility. Don't blame me." Communication! Communication! Communication! Research indicates that managers and executives spend 50% to 80% of their workday communicating. Providing information, giving directions, coordinating efforts, handling disagreements, explaining decisions, listening to what others have to say, facilitating meetings, and so much more - it's all part of your organization's internal communication. In addition to old-fashioned memos and face-to-face time in personal or group meetings, technology has now filled your work life with e-mail, beepers, voice mail, cell phones, teleconferencing, and other types of electronic communication. No wonder it's so easy to miscommunicate. Great Communication Poor communication can leave your employees confused or cynical. It can lower productivity and drain your profit margin. Peter Drucker claims that 60% of all management problems result from faulty communication. Clear, effective communication isn't an optional soft skill. It is the lifeblood of your organization. Great communication engages employees and drives performance. When credible, complete, timely, respectfully-presented information is flowing freely up, down, and laterally in your company, you will energize your employees and align them with the organization's strategic goals. How well do you and your managers communicate? Are the communications in your organization clear and effective? Or, do they often create more problems than they solve? What To Do Here are some ideas: Take an assessment to identify your communication style. Reputable ones are available on line. Ask your people questions such as these: "How well do you think we communicate around here?" Or, "When we talk, are you generally clear about what I am saying?" Or, "What ideas do you have about how we can communicate better?" Make a serious, intentional effort to improve communication. If it's a priority item, it will happen. Foster an organizational climate that supports open communication, trust, and good communication practices. Make your actions and decisions consistent with company rhetoric. Make sure that you and your employees have appropriate interpersonal skills. This may require formal training or coaching. Key to these skills is a sincere interest in what others are thinking. Steven Covey said, "Seek first to understand and then to be understood." That's good advice. If you think you have nothing to learn and that your job is just giving answers and telling people what to do, you will lose much of what your employees have to offer. Use the most appropriate communication vehicle. One-on-one conversation, small meetings, and large group meetings are the most intimate and are the best for clear communication and building a trusting relationship. If an issue is important, take care of it in person. E-mail, voice mail, bulletin board notices, newsletter articles, etc. are often vulnerable to misunderstanding because there is no opportunity for a two-way conversation - for resolving issues, discussion, or confirmation of a common understanding. For sheer data-transfer or sharing information that has no direct impact on the recipient, the less personal modes are just fine. Be thoughtful about the way you express yourself. Negative language that suggests blame or incompetence, has a patronizing tone to it, tells the person what's wrong or is not possible, and does not offer positive actions or solutions isn't likely to get good results. Positive phrasing that suggests what's going well or might be possible, that conveys an encouraging tone, and offers positive actions or solutions is much more likely to get a good response from the recipient. Use clear statements in shorter, plain language. Communication sounds like a simple, straightforward task. But, it gets tricky. It is the bridge from your organization's strategy to the successful and profitable implementation of that strategy. Pay careful attention to it. ©2004 Glen Rediehs *What's the next step in your life? In your business?* What do you want to achieve? What do you want to change? Coaching will help you reach your goals! Let's work on your future together. You can make it happen! PLEASE CALL ME at 704-788-9184 or Email me at Glen@SolutionLeader.com. FORWARD THIS EZINE Please forward this Ezine to anyone you think might enjoy it! It's free! GET YOUR OWN SUBSCRIPTION If you received this Solution Leader Ezine from someone else and would like your own free subscription, click on www.SolutionLeader.com. Subscribe -- it's free! Try it! TO UNSUBSCRIBE To unsubscribe from this Ezine, just click reply to this email, place Unsubscribe on the subject line and your email address will be removed. Please note that this procedure helps us to determine the e-mail address that you used to subscribe to Solution Leader Ezine. That's the only way we will recognize that it is you. Thank you. PRIVACY POLICY AND DISCLAIMER Click here for Privacy Policy and Disclaimer COPYRIGHT You may share, replicate or forward this Ezine or sections of it as long as the attribution, copyright notice and contact information are included. PAST ISSUES Past issues of the Solution Leader Ezine are available at my web site: www.SolutionLeader.com. CONTACT ME Contact me at Glen@SolutionLeader.com. Got a suggestion for a future topic? Thoughts about the Solution Leader Ezine? Want to submit an article? Other questions or comments? I'd love to hear from you. CHECK OUT MY WEBSITE Find out more about me and my services at: www.SolutionLeader.com. ©2004 Glen Rediehs. All rights reserved.