Solution Leader Ezine June 1, 2004




	June 1, 2004 A free Ezine sent to you monthly by Glen Rediehs, Ph.D.: Personal Coach, Corporate Coach, Organization Development Consultant Web site: www.SolutionLeader.com E-mail: Glen@SolutionLeader.com Solution Leader Ezine will give you solutions for your personal life and the people side of your business. Every issue is filled with practical strategies plus a little humor. If you received this Solution Leader Ezine from someone else and would like your own free subscription, click on www.SolutionLeader.com. Subscribe -- it's free! Try it! TO UNSUBSCRIBE To unsubscribe from this Ezine, just click reply to this email, place Unsubscribe on the subject line and your email address will be removed. Please note that this procedure helps us to determine the e-mail address that you used to subscribe to Solution Leader Ezine. That's the only way we will recognize that it is you. Thank you. IN THIS ISSUE: Is Optimism Good for You? A Little Humor Thought for the Day Self-awareness in Business Is Optimism Good for You? What happens to your attitude when things don't go well? Do you typically go into a funk or a tailspin? Or, do you tend to take it in stride and get on with life? Dr. Martin Seligman, a Past President of the American Psychological Association and a pioneer in positive psychology, claims that the difference between the people who go into a funk and those who take it in stride has to do with how they explain misfortunes in life. The next time you encounter a problem or setback, watch for three things in how you think about it or talk about it: Personalness. Do you blame yourself or others? Is it all your fault or just circumstances? Pessimistic people blame themselves for more than is warranted. You may hear yourself saying, "I'm sorry. It's all my fault." "I guess I'll never learn. I just can't do it right." "If it weren't for me, everything would have been OK." Optimists feel accountable and accept what is rightfully their responsibility. But, they attribute legitimate cause to others and circumstances as well. Pervasiveness. What's the "ripple effect" of your difficulty? Pessimists assume that one difficulty has wide implications. One bad grade means they are stupid. One promotion goes to a co-worker and the pessimist concludes that he or she has no future in that industry. Optimists contain the implications of a bad situation. They assume that it was just one grade in just one course in their entire academic career - nothing to die for. It was just one promotional opportunity among many that they might consider during their lifetime - no big deal. Permanence. Do you think about your bad situation as if it will last forever? A pessimistic husband argues with his wife and decides it's all over. He just isn't the kind of person who should be married and the two of them are doomed to conflict and unhappiness. Or, a pessimist violates a diet and decides this means he or she is destined to be fat forever. Optimists would view the marital argument as a transient event in a long marriage. Blowing the diet one time is just a slip and the optimist is ready to get back with it. If you think about bad things as being all your fault, affecting much of your life, and lasting forever - you have a pessimistic style. If you are more optimistic, you will balance personal responsibility with how other people and circumstances contributed to an undesirable situation. You will view the problem as limited in scope and something that will pass or change with time and effort. The Benefits of Optimism Optimists take charge of their lives. They go after possibilities and opportunities with confidence. Optimists persevere with patience. They believe that difficulties and obstacles to achieving their goals will pass and success will be theirs. They are more resilient. Optimism has bee linked to better health and longer life. Optimists feel better. Living with the expectation of progress and improvement beats living in a funk. How Optimistic or Pessimistic Are You? Take a free test. Go to: http://www.spiritualityhealth.com/newsh/items/selftest/item_236.html How To Increase Your Optimism An optimistic attitude can be learned. Read how in Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life by Dr. Martin Seligman. Beyond that, do some common sense things to improve your optimism: Practice some new thinking. Be accountable and responsible for your acts. But, balance that with attributing cause to other people and circumstances that contributed to a bad situation. Notice the conclusions you jump to. Contain them. Expect the situation to pass and things to improve. Look for successes and exceptions to the problem situation. Find evidence for optimism. Join a positive circle of friends. Optimism will grow when you spend time with optimistic people. Get a hobby, do something new, volunteer. Exercise, eat well, get enough sleep. Optimism is good for you and your life. If you think it will be useful, get some help from your health care professional or a qualified personal coach. ©2004 Glen Rediehs *What's the next step in your life? In your business?* What do you want to achieve? What do you want to change? Coaching will help you reach your goals! Let's work on your future together. You can make it happen! PLEASE CALL ME at 704-788-9184 or Email me at Glen@SolutionLeader.com A Little Humor Kiss Me and I'm Yours The following ad in The Atlanta Journal is reported to have gotten numerous calls: Single black female seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I'm a very good looking girl who loves to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping, and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. Rub me the right way and watch me respond. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Kiss me and I'm yours. Call 546-432-7787 and ask for Daisy. Over 150 men found themselves talking to the local Humane Society about an eight-week-old black Labrador Retriever! _______________ Being 104 Reporters interviewing a 104 year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked. She replied, "No peer pressure." _______________ Pain in the Side At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs. Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and said, Johnny what is the matter? Little Johnny responded, "I have a pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife." Thought for the Day There's a Time to Take Your Time Too many people put off something that brings them joy. I thought one day about all those people on the Titanic who passed up dessert at dinner that fateful night in an effort to cut back. From then on, I've tried to be a little more flexible. How many women out there will eat at home because their husband didn't suggest going out to dinner until after something had been thawed? Does the word "refrigeration" mean nothing to you? How often have your kids dropped in to talk and sat in silence while you watched 'Jeopardy' on television? I cannot count the times I called my sister and said, "How about going to lunch in a half hour?" She would gas up and stammer, "I can't. I have clothes on the line. My hair is dirty. I wish I had known yesterday, I had a late breakfast, It looks like rain." And my personal favorite: "It's Monday." ...She died a few years ago. We never did have lunch together. Americans cram so much into their lives. We tend to schedule our headaches. We live on a sparse diet of promises we make to ourselves when all the conditions are perfect! We'll go back and visit the grandparents when we get Stevie toilet-trained. We'll entertain when we replace the living-room carpet. We'll go on a second honeymoon when we get two more kids out of college. Life has a way of accelerating as we get older. The days get shorter, and the list of promises to ourselves gets longer. One morning, we awaken, and all we have to show for our lives is a litany of "I'm going to," "I plan on," and "Someday, when things are settled down a bit." When anyone calls my "seize the moment" friend, she is open to adventure and available for trips. She keeps an open mind on new ideas. Her enthusiasm for life is contagious. You talk with her for five minutes, and you're ready to trade your bad feet for a pair of rollerblades and skip an elevator for a bungee cord. My lips have not touched ice cream in 10 years. I love ice cream. It's just that I might as well apply it directly to my stomach (or thighs) with a spatula and eliminate the digestive process. The other day, I stopped the car and bought a triple-decker. If my car had hit an iceberg on the way home, I would have died happy. Now...go on and have a nice day. Do something you WANT to......not something on your SHOULD DO list. If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting? Have you ever watched kids playing on a merry go round or listened to the rain lapping on the ground? Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight or gazed at the sun into the fading night? Do you run through each day on the fly? When you ask "How are you?" Do you stop to hear the reply? When the day is done, do you lie in your bed with the next hundred chores running through your head? Ever told your child or a friend, "We'll do it tomorrow." And in your haste, not see his/her sorrow? Ever lost touch? Let a good friendship die? Just call to say "Hi"? When you worry and hurry through your day, it is like an unopened gift....Thrown away... Life is not a race. Take it slower. Hear the music before the song is over. *"Life may not be the party we hoped for... but while we are here we might as well dance!"* (Author Unknown) Self-awareness at Work The first step towards excellence in leadership and management is self-awareness - knowing who you really are and how you affect others. For example, I was in a Sales Manager's office recently. Before the manager could see me, he met with an important customer who had a problem with a very expensive manufacturing product. As I waited, I listened to the manager minimize the problem, imply that the customer's employees were at fault, and tell the customer that it would be more than a week before anyone could go to his plant and fix the problem. By the look on the customer's face, I guessed that he would be checking out the manager's competition. I couldn't believe it. Was this man totally unaware of his behavior and the impact it had on his customers? Not long ago, a general manager was showing me around her business. Everywhere we went, she interrupted employees and began directing whatever project they were working on - as if they didn't know what they were doing. I saw employees roll their eyes and stand aside with arms folded in defiance. I wondered if this manager was blind to the way she "meddled" and the price she paid in employee dissatisfaction. How well do you know yourself? If I asked your colleagues, employees or customers about you and how you affect others, how much would I learn about you that you don't know about yourself? What is that discrepancy costing you? What is Self-awareness? Managers and leaders who are self-aware understand their: Strengths and Weaknesses Personality traits Personal values Habits Emotional make-up Psychological needs These people understand how such attributes drive their behavior. With this awareness, they are able to change their own self-defeating behavior and cope more successfully with others' behavior. Benefits of self-awareness Managers who know their strengths and weaknesses can better exploit their strengths and work around their weaknesses. They will know which situations will bring out their personal best and when they should look for expertise elsewhere to get a task done. Teaming with colleagues who are self-aware will allow higher levels of collaboration and effectiveness. Self-aware managers will build better relationships with their co-workers. Understanding their own personality traits and the values that drive their own behavior allows them to be sensitive to others' tendencies and adjust to them. They will appreciate and leverage the positive potential of people who are introverted or extraverted, detail-minded or dreamers, peacemakers or challengers, conservative or fascinated with novelty - or whatever. Emotional self-awareness is a key component of Daniel Goleman's concept of Emotional Intelligence. Understanding their own needs and feelings, self-aware managers will recognize when their emotions are helping and when they are getting in the way. They will learn to manage their feelings and cope with otherwise emotionally-destructive situations. Self-awareness, an accurate full understanding of "what makes you tick," will improve your performance, increase the productivity of your employees, build stronger leadership at all levels of your organization, and improve business results. How Can I Become More Self-aware? You can pursue higher levels of self-awareness in several ways: Ask somebody. Ask people you trust to give you feedback about how they perceive your dominant personality traits. Not everyone, of course, will be completely candid with you. And, some people will only know you in one role (work colleague, friend, etc.) But, you will likely get some new insight into yourself. Conduct an anonymous 360 Feedback instrument on yourself. This may require some courage on your part. You may learn some things that you aren't quite ready to hear from people who know you well. Take a psychological inventory of your personality, work style, behavioral preferences, etc. There are many of them conveniently on line. Work with an Executive Coach. A qualified coach can help you to increase your self-awareness and use that understanding for your business and personal life. Self-awareness is the first step towards excellence in management and leadership - not an added frill. Make it your competitive advantage! ©2004 Glen Rediehs What company or manager has demonstrated the best management of a generationally diverse workforce? Send your stories, quotes, thoughts. As space permits, I will try to publish them. Send them to Glen@SolutionLeader.com. *What's the next step in your life? In your business?* What do you want to achieve? What do you want to change? Coaching will help you reach your goals! Let's work on your future together. You can make it happen! PLEASE CALL ME at 704-788-9184 or Email me at Glen@SolutionLeader.com. FORWARD THIS EZINE Please forward this Ezine to anyone you think might enjoy it! It's free! GET YOUR OWN SUBSCRIPTION If you received this Solution Leader Ezine from someone else and would like your own free subscription, click on www.SolutionLeader.com. Subscribe -- it's free! Try it! TO UNSUBSCRIBE To unsubscribe from this Ezine, just click reply to this email, place Unsubscribe on the subject line and your email address will be removed. Please note that this procedure helps us to determine the e-mail address that you used to subscribe to Solution Leader Ezine. That's the only way we will recognize that it is you. Thank you. PRIVACY POLICY AND DISCLAIMER Click here for Privacy Policy and Disclaimer COPYRIGHT You may share, replicate or forward this Ezine or sections of it as long as the attribution, copyright notice and contact information are included. PAST ISSUES Past issues of the Solution Leader Ezine are available at my web site: www.SolutionLeader.com. CONTACT ME Contact me at Glen@SolutionLeader.com. Got a suggestion for a future topic? Thoughts about the Solution Leader Ezine? Want to submit an article? Other questions or comments? I'd love to hear from you. CHECK OUT MY WEBSITE Find out more about me and my services at: www.SolutionLeader.com. ©2004 Glen Rediehs. All rights reserved.