December 1, 2004
A free Ezine sent to you monthly by Glen Rediehs, Ph.D.: Personal Coach, Corporate Coach, Organization Development Consultant
Web site: www.SolutionLeader.com
E-mail: Glen@SolutionLeader.comSolution Leader Ezine will give you solutions for your personal life and the people side of your business. Every issue is filled with practical strategies plus a little humor.
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IN THIS ISSUE:A Peek Into Stop Misbehavior (e-book available at www.stopmisbehavior.com)
How to Have Your Best Holiday Season Ever!
A Little Humor
Thought for the Day
Workplace Stress
STOP MISBEHAVIOR!
Want to stop your child's misbehavior?
Want respect, cooperation and good behavior?
For your sake and your child's sake …Click on www.StopMisbehavior.com to get details about my E-book and FREE teleclass for parents!
A PEEK INTO STOP MISBEHAVIOR
(www.stopmisbehavior.com)In my e-book, Stop Misbehavior, I will lead you through five powerful steps that will help you change your child's behavior. Each step is fully and clearly presented with examples and exercises.
Stop Misbehavior is practical and action-oriented. You won't waste time belaboring the past and blaming yourself or others. You will focus on the present and the future. You will learn new ways to change your child's behavior.
Step One - What Do You Want?
You decide what you want to change and I will guide you in setting a workable goal. Success depends on focusing on one thing at a time and having a clear idea of what you want to achieve.Step Two - Discover "Hidden Solutions"
It may be a surprise to you that you are already doing many things right - "hidden" or partial solutions to your parenting problem. I will help you discover them and put them to work in achieving your goal.Step Three - Do Something Different
You and your child may be stuck in repetitive, unpleasant patterns of behavior. You feel as if you are "spinning your wheels." I will teach you how to break out of that discouraging cycle and do something different. You will become skilled at using a large variety of practical ideas that work. No more "wheel spinning."Step Four - Think Something Different
How you think about the problem situation and your child's misbehavior can make a big difference in how successful you are in changing things. I will show you how to view the situation and your child's misbehavior from different perspectives. As you learn to see circumstances from diverse points of view, it will be easier for you to act effectively and achieve your goal.Step Five - Backsliding
You know the old saying about "three steps forward and one step backwards." Especially at the beginning, your child's changed behavior is likely to have its ups and downs. Setbacks are normal and temporary. The secret of maintaining your progress is being prepared for the possibility of some "backsliding." I will teach you how to have a plan in mind so that you will maintain your composure and achieve your goal.In addition to the five-step process, I will offer you some thoughts about taking care of yourself and your family. Suggestions of outside resources are also presented for your information.
Give yourself some great new parenting skills. No risk. Click on www.stopmisbehavior.com. now!
©2004 Glen Rediehs, Ph.D.
HOW TO HAVE YOUR BEST HOLIDAY SEASON EVER!
"Only _____ more shopping days 'til you know what!"
Do those words give you feelings of happiness and excitement? They do for most of us. But, do you also feel twinges of worry, anticipatory fatigue -- even dread. If so, you've got lots of company.
I remember a past holiday when it took me hours one Saturday to find the perfect tree. When I got home with it, I discovered that the trunk was too short to place it securely in the stand. I couldn't bear to cut off any of those great branches at the bottom of the tree. After all, I had paid for the tree by the foot and I was going to get my money's worth. So, handyman Glen cut and nailed a block to the bottom of the trunk! Then there was the task of getting it into the stand and tightened while my wife stood back and coached me on getting it straight.
The next task was carrying boxes and boxes of our holiday decorations down two stories from the attic. After finding the right box, I pulled out the last year's tangled mess of lights. Mumbling some not very sacred words, I unsnarled the strings of
bulbs. I nearly lost my religion in the process of testing each little bulb to see which ones were keeping one string after another from lighting.
Then it happened! I looked up to see my young children standing at a distance with bewildered looks on their faces. Daddy had definitely lost his holiday cool. I reassured them that I had not lost my mind entirely, apologized and promised to do better. I also took a deep breath, relaxed, and decided that I was going to take charge of the holiday season. It would no longer pressure me into a meaningless frenzy.
You could probably tell similar stories about times when the holidays got the best of you. When they snatched away the joy and pleasure of the season.
If you want the greatest holiday season of your life, consider these ideas:
- Talk with your children about the holiday season that they would prefer. I recently read an article about a single mom who knocked herself out preparing the "perfect Thanksgiving" for her teen-age children. When the turkey wouldn't defrost and the whole production fell apart, the children announced that they weren't in the least bit disappointed. It wasn't the meal or the day they had hoped for, anyway. At the children's suggestion, they got a fast food meal and went to a local parade together. The kids were delighted!
- Set priorities. Think through what you like and what don't like about decorating, shopping, gifts, parties, family traditions, etc. Talk to your loved ones who will be celebrating the season with you. Together, affirm what belongs in your holiday - the things that bring meaning and happiness. Change what doesn't belong - the things that create aggravation and headaches. Keep it simple. Some people find the most meaningful part of their holidays is volunteering for a charity or social service agency.
- Plan ahead. Schedule what you have decided to do and start in plenty of time. Set realistic expectations. Don't do it all yourself - delegate. Celebrate the holidays at your pace, without the hassle.
- Take care of yourself. Get plenty of sleep. Eat properly - despite all the goodies. Drink in moderation - or not at all. Exercise.
- Set a budget and stick with it. In this season of generosity, it is easy to lose your good judgment and your good credit. Don't get "guilt tripped" by the demands of your children. This is a great time for them to learn about budgets. You will enjoy the season much more if you know that you won't be paying for it for months (or years?).
- If your holidays bring the extra challenges of a single-parent family, a step-family, grief over the loss of a loved one, chronic illness, or other difficult circumstances, be extra good to yourself.
Spend time with those who understand and support you. Tell the people around you what you need from them. They may want to be helpful, but not know what to do. Create a "new" holiday for you and yours - instead of just longing for the past. If you are adjusting to a new situation, you might enjoy teaming up with another family in the same circumstance. If it's all a little too much, make an appointment with a professional and work on it together.
Have your best holiday ever this year!! Start now. You've still got time.
©2004 Glen Rediehs
What's the next step in your life? In your business?
What do you want to achieve?
What do you want to change?
Coaching will help you reach your goals!
Let's work on your future together. You can make it happen!
PLEASE CALL ME at 704-788-9184 or Email me at Glen@SolutionLeader.com
A Little Humor
Cruising With Penguins
A police officer sees a man driving around with a pickup truck full of penguins. He pulls the guy over and says: "You can't drive around with penguins in this town! Take them to the zoo immediately."
The guy says OK, and drives away.
The next day, the officer sees the guy still driving around with the truck full of penguins, and they're all wearing sunglasses. He pulls the guy over and demands: "I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo yesterday!"
The guy replies: "I did . . . today I'm taking them to the beach!"
_______________How to Get to Heaven
An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him "How do you expect to get into Heaven?"
The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!'"
_______________
Things to Think About
You spend the first two years of their life teaching your children to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.
Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.
Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.
Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.
The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.
We childproofed our homes, but they are still getting in.
Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home one day.
If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: Take two aspirin and keep away from children!!
Thought for the DayHow Not To Change: 10 Strategies for Staying Stuck
Don't listen to anybody
We sometimes get stuck in our own little ways of thinking about or doing things. Other people can be helpful to give us a new perspective or new possibilitiesListen to everybody
At the same time, letting other people's views of the world or what is right for you dominate your life can put you in danger of losing yourself and your sensibilities.Endlessly analyze and don't make any changes
It's fine to understand what is going on with you, others or the world, but be careful of the analysis paralysis trap.Blame others for your actions or problems
Not everything is everybody else's fault. If you find that is your usual stance or interpretation, try imagining that you had a part in creating this situation.Blame yourself or put yourself down regularly
On the other hand, you are not always to blame. And putting yourself down regularly is probably something you took on long ago as a habit that doesn't serve you well. It can demoralize you and undermine your confidence.Keep doing the same thing that doesn't work
Do something different if what you are doing is not working. Remember that one definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.Keep focusing on the same things when that focus doesn't help
Try shifting your attention in another direction. They say the only difference between a rut and a grave is the dimensions. Get out of your rutsKeep thinking the same thoughts when those thoughts don't help
There's nothing as dangerous as an idea, when it is the only one you have, claims Emile Chartier. Don't believe everything you think!Keep putting yourself in the same unhelpful environment
While there are ways to transcend one's environment, it is often easier to get the heck out of there (unless that is your usual pattern; in that case, try sticking around). A tree that needs water doesn't do well in the desert. One difference between a tree and a human being is that the human can get up and move to a more nurturing environment.Keep relating to the same unhelpful people
It is probably wiser to minimize your contact with people who put you down, who gossip, who are acting in a mean-spirited way, or with whom you regularly end up feeling bad after your encounters with them.Credit: Bill O‚Hanlon, Possibilities, 233 N. Guadalupe #278, Santa Fe, NM 87501 800.381.2374; PossiBill@brieftherapy.com; http://www.brieftherapy.com
Is workplace stress lowering the productivity of your workforce and draining profits from your organization?
In a recent Gallup poll, 80 percent of workers reported that they feel stress on the job. Nearly half said they and their co-workers need help in managing stress.
Unmanaged workplace stress can lead to illness, injury and job failure. These consequences are expensive for your business. The American Institute of Stress estimates job stress costs US companies $300 billion per year. What portion of that bill are you paying?
What Causes Stress?
It is understandable that your employees - and you, too - are vulnerable to excessive job stress. Workplace stress can come from factors such as:
- intense marketplace competition
- personnel shortages and an arduous search for talent
- difficult and demanding customers
- company politics and interpersonal conflict
- increased responsibilities and long hours in "lean" organizations
- job insecurity and career concerns
- poor job fit
- poor management practices
- dangerous or unpleasant work environment
What Can You Do?
Start with yourself. Model good stress management by maintaining:
- a positive attitude
- a healthful diet
- regular exercise
- adequate sleep
- a fulfilling life outside of the workplace
Help your employees manage their stress by paying attention to:
- Job design and description. Make sure job roles, responsibilities, authority, and reporting structures are clear. Workloads and schedules should be reasonable. Employees must have the equipment, skills and training to do their jobs. Hopefully, employees and their jobs are a good fit so that your employees are doing what they do best and finding satisfaction in their work.
- Management practice. Recognize employees for good performance. Provide frequent feedback. Provide opportunities for training and career development. Involve workers in decisions and actions that affect their jobs. Prioritize projects. If an employee reports to more than one manager, the managers should negotiate priorities among themselves and not leave the worker stuck between their conflicting demands.
- Company culture. Show concern. Encourage open communication. Provide the most generous benefits you can. Offer an Employee Assistance Program and training in time management and stress management. Stress is related to how individuals perceive challenging or difficult circumstances. People can be trained to view these situations more positively and relieve their stress. Treat mistakes as an opportunity to learn instead of something to punish. Have some fun - humor relieves stress.
- Work environment. Is your workplace safe and as pleasant in appearance as possible? Is the environment a plus when you are recruiting talent?
- Warning signs. Watch for early signs of stress and burnout: complaints about sleep problems, headaches and frequent colds; low morale; angry outbursts; increasing attrition, etc.
Let me ask you my opening question again: Is workplace stress lowering the productivity of your workforce and draining profits from your organization? Check it out. Healthy, satisfied employees create a healthy profit.
©2004 Glen Rediehs
What is the best example of corporate stress management that you know about? Send your stories, quotes, and thoughts. As space permits, I will try to publish them. Send them to Glen@SolutionLeader.com.
What's the next step in your life? In your business?What do you want to achieve?
What do you want to change?
Coaching will help you reach your goals!
Let's work on your future together. You can make it happen!
PLEASE CALL ME at 704-788-9184 or Email me at Glen@SolutionLeader.com.
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