May 1, 2003

A free Ezine sent to you twice a month by Glen Rediehs, Ph.D.: Personal Coach, Corporate Coach, Organization Development Consultant

Web site: www.SolutionLeader.com

E-mail: Glen@SolutionLeader.com

Solution Leader Ezine will give you solutions for your personal life and the people side of your business. Every issue is filled with practical strategies plus a little humor.

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In This Issue:

How to Remember People’s Names

A Little Humor

Thought for the Day

Storytelling in Business

In the Next Issue

How to Remember People’s Names

It was Friday night. My family and I were at our favorite restaurant, waiting to be seated. I was relaxed and everything seemed just fine. Then it happened.

Someone I had met at a community meeting several times walked into the restaurant and spotted me. As he came over, I searched my memory banks frantically. What was this guy’s name? I had been introduced more than once. What was the matter with my brain? Why couldn’t I remember something as simple as a name?

I started chit-chat, avoiding calling him by name. My wife recognized what was happening, introduced herself, and he introduced himself to her. I apologized for my lack of manners (as if I knew his name all along). I was saved from confessing my memory failure publicly – but, I still felt stupid.

I’m going to guess that I’m not the only one in the universe who is “name-memory challenged.” If you are one of us, read on.

There’s hope. Memory experts suggest several approaches to improve memory for people’s names:

Make Associations

• Find an unusual feature in the person’s appearance. Create an association

between the face, the unusual feature and the name. For example, Barbara Bateson is a beautiful brunette. Harry Jones really is – very hairy.

• If you know someone else with the same first or last name, connect the two in

your mind. Maybe you see the two of them, Stan Rodriguez and Sam Rodriguez,

standing there together in your mind’s eye.

• Sometimes, the person’s name is similar to a celebrity’s name. You meet

Marshall Douglas and associate that with Michael Douglas, for example.

Create a Visual Image

• Imagine a situation in which the person’s name suggests something in a scene.

You see Peggy Price putting price tags on merchandise at a store. Or, Ho Lee creates an image of Ho with a halo over his head. Maybe you see yourself cruising down the river with John Rivers.

• Imagine you can see the person’s name written on his or her forehead – maybe

in your favorite color.

Repetition

• When you are introduced, ask the person to repeat his or her name. Make sure

you’ve got it right. Use the name in your conversation. If it is an unusual name, ask about its history or the spelling. Use the person’s name when you end the conversation.

• During the conversation, repeat the name to yourself at least three times while

you are looking at the person’s face.

• When you are at a party, or other setting where it is possible, introduce your

new acquaintance to someone else nearby.

• If the name escapes you during the conversation, ask for it again at the end.

Don’t say “good bye” until you’ve got it in your head.

• At the end of the conversation, ask for the person’s business card and study the

name. Rehearse the person’s name several times before you start another conversation or activity. If you can, write the person’s name down.

Rhyme

• When you are introduced to someone who has an outstanding characteristic,

make a rhyme out of it. Hilarious Henry or Gloomy Gus, for example.

Kinesthetic Sense

• Move a finger in little micro-muscle movements as if you were actually writing

the person’s name. Some experts claim this encodes the name more successfully in your mind.

Everyone forgets things. If you’re stuck and the name isn’t coming to mind, few people will be offended if you simply apologize and ask for the individual’s name in a polite manner.

If you really want to start remembering people’s names better, you will have to make a commitment. It won’t happen through wishful thinking. Whenever you meet someone new, engage the conversation with the deliberate intention of using whatever technique works best for you. Then practice, practice, practice. It won’t happen overnight. With a good effort, it will slowly become a habit and you will notice that you are much more successful at remembering people’s names. And, remember, there’s nothing other people like better than the sound of their name!

WANT A LITTLE HELP?

Need a little help achieving the future you want for yourself?

It’s been my life’s work and my passion to help individuals and organizations create their own best futures. Let’s work on your future together. You can make it happen!

PLEASE CALL ME at 704-788-9184 or Email me at Glen@SolutionLeader.com.

A Little Humor

Toddler Property Laws

1. If I like it, it's mine.

2. If it's in my hand, it’s mine.

3. If I can take it from you, it's mine.

4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.

5. If it's mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way.

6. If I am doing or building something all the pieces are mine.

7. If it looks like mine, it is mine.

8. If I saw it first, it's mine.

9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.

10. If it's broken, it's yours.

_______________

Can You Believe It?

A man was leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation. The thief found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of half a million dollars.

_______________

The Doorbell

A priest is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street. However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach.

After watching the boy's efforts for some time, the priest crosses the street, walks up behind the little fellow and, placing his hand kindly on the child's shoulder, leans over and gives the doorbell a sold ring. Crouching down to the child's level, the priest smiles benevolently and asks, "And now what, my little man?"

To which the boy replies, "Now we run!

Thought for the Day

The Trouble Tree

The carpenter I hired to help me restore an old farmhouse had

just finished a rough first day on the job. A flat tire made

him lose an hour of work, his electric saw quit and now his

ancient pickup truck refused to start.

While I drove him home, he sat in stony silence. Upon arriving,

he invited me in to meet his family. As we walked toward the

front door, he paused briefly at a small tree, touching the

tips of the branches with both hands.

When opening the door he underwent an amazing transformation.

His tanned face was wreathed in smiles and he hugged his two

small children and gave his wife a kiss. Afterward he walked

me to the car. We passed the tree and my curiosity got the

better of me. I asked him about what I had seen him do earlier.

"Oh, that's my trouble tree", he replied. "I know I can't

help having troubles on the job, but one thing for sure,

troubles don't belong in the house with my wife and the

children. So I just hang them up on the tree every night

when I come home. Then in the morning I pick them up again."

"Funny thing is," he smiled, "When I come out in the morning

to pick them up, there aren’t nearly as many as I remember

hanging up the night before".

-- Unknown

Storytelling In Business

When was the last time you had trouble trying to change something in your company? You introduced the change, explained how it would be better for everyone, presented the supporting facts and figures – but, little happened.

Times like that can be extremely frustrating. Before you resort to autocratic demands and threats, consider telling a story.

A Story From the World Bank

Steve Denning had a problem. His employer, the World Bank, charged him with the responsibility of making the institution’s huge non-financial knowledge base available to people and organizations in far-flung corners of the world.

Steve developed a plan for knowledge management and attempted to implement the system. He held meetings, explained the need, presented charts and graphs demonstrating the benefits, answered questions, argued his position – nothing! Nobody understood. “We’re a bank, not a library,” they said.

Then he heard a story of successful knowledge-sharing that helped WB clients. The WB was involved in a project aimed at improving health services to families in Kamana, Zambia. A health worker in Kamana logged on to Atlanta’s Center for Disease Control web site and got the answer to a question on how to treat malaria. It made positive difference in the project.

After that, Steve opened his meetings with this story and invited people to imagine the impact the WB could have on projects all over the world if their huge non-financial knowledge base could be made available. Suddenly, staff at all levels understood. With their support, his knowledge management program succeeded.

Stories Change Things

Stories can generate positive attitudes to change, inspire people, win cooperation, communicate complex ideas, and so much more – when clear explanations, logical arguments and facts fail.

Stories seems to “flip a switch” in our brains. Instead of analyzing and judging, our intellect allows child-like open-mindedness. We can be coaxed into seeing new perspectives and imagining outcomes toward which cold, hard facts would never lead us.

Consider the success of Spencer Johnson’s Who Moved My Cheese? The messages in the book about change aren’t new. It’s the story of four characters finding their way through a maze that inspires openness to change.

How To Tell A Story

Stories your people share at the water cooler, in the parking lot, lunchroom, etc. already change attitudes, establish company culture, inspire or demoralize the workforce, etc. Be a part of that process. Tell stories that will influence your people toward what you want.

Here are some tips:

• The best stories are from your experience or from others within your

company. Real stories work better than fictitious stories.

• Listen for stories that feature what you want in your company. The dominant

stories among your workforce may be just the opposite. But, listen for the exception story that illustrates what you want.

• When you are in meetings or casual gatherings, ask questions that prompt

stories: “What do you find most satisfying in your work?” or “What is it that is happening at _____ when we are at our best?”

• Whenever it’s appropriate, repeat those stories.

Doug Lipman, author of Improving Your Storytelling suggests an alternate process:

• Clarify what you want to see more of at work.

• Scan for memories and images from your past. If, for example, you focus on

cooperation, you might ask questions like: “How did I first learn about the importance of cooperation?” or “What successes or failures led me to value cooperation?”

• Identify stories from your memories and images. Refine a story until it makes

the point clearly.

• Tell your story.

Join leaders at IBM, Xerox and other corporations. Develop your ability to lead with stories. Read Stephen Denning, The Springboard or The Story Factor by Annette Simmons.

When have you seen a leader use a story to influence a work force? How did the story do a more effective job than explanations, facts or figures? Send your stories, quotes, thoughts. As space permits, I will try to publish them. Send them to Glen@SolutionLeader.com.

WANT A LITTLE HELP?

It’s been my life’s work and my passion to help individuals and organizations create their own best futures. Let’s work on it. You can do it!

PLEASE CALL ME at 704-788-9184 or Email me at Glen@SolutionLeader.com.

In the Next Issue:

How Well Do You Listen?

A Little Humor

Thought for the Day

How to Manage Your Time

In the Next Issue

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